CAC The place Erin Merryn broke her silence The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois In 1998 seventy five thousand six hundred and forty seven abused children were seen in one hundred and thirty nine Children's Advocacy Centers in America. How I wondered am I suppose to tell this stranger my pain when I am too ashamed to even talk in detail with my parents about it. It is my hope hearing my message today youll see the importance of what Im here to talk to you about, said Erin Merryn. The legislation, "Erin Merryn's Law," (S.6182 Klein/ A.8993 Dinowitz), would require schools to make a change to their . Merryn cautions that you can never just go by how many registered sex offenders are in your area. 2022 Anchorage Daily News. He doesnt sleep out ever. It allowed me to let go of the bitterness, anger and rage I had toward him and find the freedom and peace I longed for and the ability to turn this painful event into something positive. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Then, Erin said she told her family too. 25 $. Our guest speaker for the Luncheon will now be Erin Merryn, childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist, and the force behind Erin . Erin has been traveling state to state testifying to lawmakers to pass Erin's law for 7 years. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. The shame is so overwhelming. For so many years I stayed angry and bitter towards him. This went on for a month before police got involved. I think he knew that once he had us conditioned, we were easy targets. Her testimony was met with a standing ovation. Forgiveness set me free. I was abused. "The new bill brings a mandate," Merryn said, "mandating that all (Illinois) schools--pre-school through 12th grade--must begin next fall teaching sexual-abuse prevention education in the schools." I had only ever been told no one (would) believe me, I feared ruining our large extended family when they learned a family member (teenage cousin) was molesting my sister and I. Sixteen years ago, on March 29, 1998, my sister broke her silence to me. It is currently passed in 37 states as of January 2021. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Erin has spoken at over 250 CAC events.In 2008 she began writing legislators to require personal body safety be taught to kids in school. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. The abuse continued and Erin struggled with the secret that hung over her, a secret that eventually destroyed a family and took Erin's innocence. There, at her friends house, in the middle of the night, she was sexually assaulted by her friends uncle. I can remember that as if it happened yesterday. COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. Erin said the abuse stopped after her sister spoke up about her own abuse. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. She told them that, growing up in Illinois, she had experienced tornado drills, fire drills and bus drills; was taught about stranger danger and eight ways to say no to drugs through D.A.R.E., but no one ever taught her how to protect herself from sexual abuse and what to do if a family member or friend molested or raped her. Merryn: There is so much shame and stigma attached to sexual abuse. After her parents decided to move Erins abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived down the street from her. Nightmares. Merryn: My resilience took a lot of psychological help growing up as a kid, teen, and young adult. Alaska Dispatch: So often we hear about "helpers" who encouraged a victim to come forward, or reported for him or her. Erin's Law was the first law passed in the United States requiring sexual abuse prevention education to be taught to students in school every year, and it was subsequently passed in 38 U.S. states before being signed into federal law. In 2013 Governor Quinn signed Erins Law mandating child sexual abuse education in all Illinois public schools. Instead I am still running from Brian. Sunshine and a few clouds. Merryn: What caused me to come forward was unfortunately finding out that my little sister was also being abused. After her parents decided to move Erin's abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived . Here's how to protect your kids from online predators. There was one good thing about my sister coming forward, she said. COURIER/JOELLYN CURRY Erin Merryn speaks with enthusiasm, rattling off the list of trips around the globe, the hours of research and meetings promoting her cause. Nightmares and flashbacks continued, and she started harming herself. The ability to forgive both my abusers set me free and gave me my voice back and the strength to speak out for others. Erin wrote that letter. At no time should the school provide the information directly to the student (unless the student is over 18). She has made it her mission in life to get this legislation passed in all 50 states. MORE: Monmouth U. faces federal sexual assault case. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. "Erin's Law" is named after Schaumburg native and activist Erin Merryn. Two days later, their cousin was brought into the police station. My sister and I were the only girls that he was around all the time. The law was passed in a number of states,[7] with New York becoming the 37th in 2019. It brings it all back to the surface. Erin also included the correspondence between her cousin and herself, for readers to also hear the perpetrator's side. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County, Ill. (there are 900 of these centers across America in every state), helped give me the courage in my forensic interview after my sister and I broke our silence to tell what had happened. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. He threatened her to stay silent so she kept her secrets locked away in her childhood diary. Forgiving him did not mean what he did was right, she stressed. So, instead of speaking out, the only person she told her thoughts and feelings to was herself in the form of a little pink diary. Merryn: I have witnessed some lawmakers come in voting against the bill who got on their mic after hearing me testify and (told) me they had all planned to vote against this bill and that my testimony changed their mind. He knows the parts covered by his underwear and bathing suit arent for anyone to touch or see and he knows who safe people are if he ever needs help with something. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. I got five sentences to my five pages, but he responded and it opened a door of communication, she said. Forgiveness is what set me free. And it was at her house the very first overnight that I woke up to her uncle who lived in the home sexually abusing me, said Merryn. It can happen to anyone, which is why we need to empower our children with their voice to speak up and tell and to not keep it a secret if they are abused. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. Here's a glimpse of her life and why she's on a quest for social change. So far, her story has inspired many kids to speak up about abuse, and that has led to more predators put behind bars. The next day they told their parents. Im glad he gets body boundaries and safety and Ill be pounding it into his head as long as I can. Sexually abused as a. Maryland is the latest state, joining the crusade last month. Alaska Dispatch: You were preyed upon not once, but twice (two different abusers during different stages of childhood). Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. Requiring personal body safety education in public schools. He got us quiet and continued to get away with it. See all See top. Instead I am still running from Brian. Acting out both at home and in school, she was given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and was told she was just going through a phase; that her parents brief separation was the probable root cause. Donors may not deduct contributions made to Erins Law under IRC Section 170 (c) (2). Soon it was no longer our secret and I was behind a different closed door not the one to a bedroom, a bathroom, basement, or closet but this time into a colorful room with a small table and bright light shinning through the skylight. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? But then, it started happening behind closed doors at crowded family functions. will then mail or hand the parents or responsible adult family member the Megans Law information. Erin's Law is the first US child sexual abuse prevention education law requiring children be educated in schools. How do we lessen the control these pressures have on ourselves, our loved ones? I feel it would have given me the voice that these men took from me. After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. Its word for word my diary from the ages of 10 until my senior year of high school. Merryn is now taking her fight to the state of Alabama. Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. Erin said they just wanted to make sure their nephew got help. Her dad had to sit down and have a tough conversation with his sister, and denial followed. Erin Merryn is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. Bad things happen to children all the time. Children learn all kinds of safety lessons in schools, like how to deal with natural disasters, fires and strangers. God has healed me, made me whole again, and has shown me the ability to forgive, the freedom it brings yourself, and shown me my purpose in this life, and that is to give kids the voice I didn't have. Merryn: The first thing someone can do is start talking about it. It was the first federal bill passed funding sexual abuse prevention education. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which is a group advocating for child sexual abuse awareness. Thirty-seven states have passed Erins Law and Merryn has tried three times in seven years to get the bill passed in Ohio. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. See the sex abuse in Israel's ultra-orthodox community. I had all the warning signs of an abused kid -- labeled behavior(ally) and emotionally disturbed, given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for that behavior, I had anger problems, put my hand through a window weeks after being raped at 7 years old and threw tantrums on the floors in school. Two of those children were my sister and I. Merryn now. Eventually though the conversation has to shift and that question that I will never forget. The areas covered by your swimsuit are not for anyone to be touching, unless mommy and daddy are helping you with a bath. She is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for . Stolen Innocencewas published soon after. In her diary Erin Merryn reveals how her life was transformed one night when, as an eleven-year-old, she was sexually abused in her grandparents condo by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. There is a misconception about this issue many people think sexual abuse only happens to the poor, to people who come from broken homes, etc. Seconds later his hand was down her pants. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. Alaska Dispatch: Would something like what you are proposing -- Erin's Law -- have helped you? Alaska Dispatch: Silence is a powerful way in which sexual abuse is kept secret and is perpetuated. But many schools, she said, are using faculty social workers and psychologists because research shows its better taught by in-house staff then outside agencies. People would be amazed how many people this really does affect and that they know but have never come forward. Because so often, people that are being abused do not report it until theyre in their 30s, 40s and 50s cause nobody ever gave them the message onhow tospeak up and tell, Merryn said. Look out for motels that might house sex offenders. The look in this mans eyes, the color shirt he was wearing and the last thing he said to me, Dont you dare tell anybody. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio Senate Primary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. Eventually, her parents and sisters moved to another town, closer to family. I came from a good home, two parents, good schools, safe neighborhood, etc. Alaska Dispatch: Do you think most lawmakers meaningfully comprehend the issue of sexual abuse? A voice that flies across America and speaks at many of these CAC's that exist taking people back to my experience at the CAC and this time sharing all the details because I no longer carry the shame but instead a voice bringing awareness to these incredible centers that give children a new start on life and a path toward healing. Erins Law is a tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. But instead of telling everyone to vote against it, she told everyone to vote in support of this bill. Erin Merryn A Voice for the Voiceless Author, Activist, Speaker, wife, mother, and force behind Erin's Law Glamour Magazine 2012 Woman of the Year. Erin is a mom to three little girls. I will not stop until children in all 50 states are protected from sexual abuse.". I guess what I was trying to ask is, why do you think your abusers chose you instead of some other girl as a target? She lives in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. No one will believe you, Erin. ABC News agreed to use her pen name and a false name for the man she says abused her. My mom was a mess, that day she probably cried for 10 straight hours, looking at my dad saying, we missed all the red flags, her grades, she was depressed, Erin recalled. If someone ever does touch you in those areas, you tell immediately., Merryn suggests the books The Swimsuit Lesson and The Right Touch.. Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I met my best friend in kindergarten. Check out pictures, bibliography, and biography of Erin Merryn I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. Lawmakers are in the dark about this. Merryn, then 6, was excited about her first sleepover with her kindergarten classmate Ashley. [7] She published her diary detailing her cousin's abuse and her own recovery, relapse and reconciliation in book form as Stolen Innocence in 2005. The girls were brought to a Children's Advocacy Center where they had to tell their stories to complete strangers, something Erin wasnt looking forward to at all. I wanted to know why, and when I asked if he was abused, he denied it and said he abused me out of curiosity and an urge of sexuality. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. Our Spectrum News app is the most convenient way to get the stories that matter to you. Here's How We Amplify It | National Children's Alliance", "Erin Merryn Fights for Law to Help Child Sexual Assault Victims", "Erin's Law: When the Abuser Is No Stranger", "State Senate Passes Erin Merryn's Law Aimed at Child Sex Abuse Prevention", "Survivor Recalls Alleged Incest in Book", "Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Gets Law Passed", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Erin_Merryn&oldid=1132623568, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 9 January 2023, at 19:15. Under Erins Law, the New Jersey Commissioner of Education must provide school districts with age-appropriate sample learning activities and resources designed to implement this requirement. I sat next to a woman who I had just met moments earlier in the waiting room with my sister and mom. The brilliant minds behind putting in place a center that had a home away from home feeling to give children a sense of security and comfort.At thirteen was the age I walked through the CAC. Merryn says starting when she was six, she was sexually abused by a neighbor, then at 11 by an older cousin. Low near 30F. This decision has brought her on a crusade across America to pass what is known as Erin's Law. (Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images) Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. Mar 22, 2018 Erin Merryn, survivor of sexual abuse as a child and the driving force behind Erin's Law, speaks to an auditorium full of students at Metamora Township High School last Monday, March 12. Usually, the abuse isnt at the hands of a stranger, rather someone they know and trust. (2012) Fox News Self - Author of 'An Unimaginable Act'. The first abuser, our neighbor, is someone I think who did this to any girl he had access to. That's where, 14 years ago, a then-13-year-old Erin Merryn first . Caught you off guard? The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erins Law. We've had an unprecedented change for our Gingerbread House Partners in Prevention 2021 Luncheon and we couldn't be more excited! Erins Law has now going international with judge in Kerala India requiring Erins Law in the 2023-2024 school year. As for Merryn, today shes married, the mother of an almost 2 year old, and expecting her second child in eight weeks. Every other headline horrifies the public with another predator taking not just advantage of a child but everything from a child. It would be many more years until that voice would become the strong, confident woman that I have become. "I didn't understand what was going on," she says. Erin Merryn from Elgin, Illinois, was just weeks shy of her seventh birthday when she was raped by an adult neighbor. (2016) Consider This Self - Author and Children's Advocate. Later, just weeks before her seventh birthday, she was raped by the same man. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. At age 17, she attempted suicide. We need to start teaching kids this, she said. I found (the) freedom and peace I had longed for. According to Merryn, every school gets the option to pick a Erins Law program, and have an outside agency teach. Meanwhile, the survivor who came up with the idea aftersufferingher own personal horrors shared her story with senators Tuesday. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. Someone should have known in my earlier years when I was being abused by an adult neighbor. [3] According to her personal account, she told her parents about the latter after her sister confided that she had also been abused by the same relative. If they feel they are in danger or in an uncomfortable situation, they can call home and use the code word, something as simple as, I forgot my math homework at school. . Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio SenatePrimary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. Erin first gained public attention for this cause when she self-published her first book while still a senior in high school in Schaumburg IL, entitled: Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir. Erin Elizabeth had cheerful holidays turned into a fight to protect herself from evil where she often lost. Alaska Dispatch: What can someone reading about this do in their own life, or change about their own perspective, to make coming forward easier for victims? You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. My goal in life is to give a voice to the voiceless and put these predators out of business, she said. In 2009 Texas passed a similar law but it was only a task force which did not mandate students be taught personal body safety, making Illinois the first state to require personal body safety education by law. "Alabama needs this law because just like everywhere else in America . You didn't just tell one person. Carrot has 281,000 instagram followers. The abuse went on for years. Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. 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