baby rejecting mom after going back to work

Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. I am so happy that my two main men have such a great relationship, but I want to share in it too! Find reliable childcare Getting childcare is one of the toughest aspects of going back to work. We laugh all the time! I dont know what to do. I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. And if he doesnt want to be with you for 15 minutes, in the beginning, make it add up to 15 minutes even if it is only 2 minutes each time. It did break my heart. baby rejecting mom after going back to work That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of us he goes to her. And I was the one at home. and youre doing the right thing. Now we could see how confident our baby girl has turned out 2 be. In all honestly, she did take a bottle eventually. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. I hope you find a way make this all work out without hate and anger. Please hang in there mommies and daddies. Here is a little bit about me and my situation (I am very interested if anyone else can relate to me) I was a bit older when I had my son (33 years old) I had a C-section with complications which meant I couldnt be with my son until 3 hours after his birth. I work very part time 3 days a week for a total of 16 hours. Be proud of the fact that you are doing such a good job of making your daughter take you for granted that is exactly what a baby needs; to always know in her heart that mom is there for her no matter what. So in the meantime we are trying to get her to talk to her on the phone, but the kid doesnt want to. I have a 7 month daugher that doesnt seen to want me. She is having a tough time, but please let her know that this really is a normal development stage. Its so disheartening and hurtful, but Im glad (how bad is that?!) If she can crawl, chasing each other might be fun. blessings to you all. This hurts so much that I cant help but cry. Though it is nice to know Im not the only one to suffer from a similar situation, it doesnt solve it. Not to make light of this happening to the dads out there but I think that is more common than the moms as, for the most part, we are the primary caregivers. Sometimes in 1-2 minutes. But the emotional part of me feels devastated. thanks all for listening to me & i will take every reply seriously. I often feel that I could leave any day, never to return and my daughter would never notice. Here's what we tried, and what finally worked! you are a good mother. she is taken care by my husbands mother . Playing with her, cuddling her, holding her, rocking her to sleepif I could sing her to sleep it was rare. What can i do to get my daughter back? She is neither excited when I get home nor unhappy when I leave in the morning. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. Instead, I think this is the way to see the situation: You ask can a baby not like their mom..? She has now outgrown the reflux but has become a very fussy feeder.Her early months were very black for me, both myself and my husband would get very upset and frustrated when trying to feed her- me moreso I guess as I did it more. This still happens when, for example, he seems disinterested in me when I pick him up from daycare. Now he is 22 months and everything has reversed I can see the love I so much needed to see reflected in his eyes and I know he needs and appreciates me. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. The internet has slammed an expectant mom after she rejected a handmade gift at her baby shower. Im a married mom with a 14 month old son who is obsessed with his dad and treats me like garbage a lot of the time. I play with him, Ive teacher him words in (Greek) we read books everything!!! Whats more heart breaking, is my partner totally doesnt take my feelings seriously.& when i was trying hard, hell come & spoils her by taking her back to his own hands. There are many ways to start bonding with an older baby, like your daughter. Please advice what should I do. He tells me he wants me to leave and daddy to stay. Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. But I feel like there are some differences, too. My Postpartum Depression Made Me Reject My Baby. Allow a drip or two go into your baby's mouth, then try to insert the bottle nipple into your baby's mouth. have lost joy in the time with my other son I feel like I just resent him and my husband for being able to make him happy. Im in a bit of a no win situation here, I am expecting my first child with my partner, he has a daughter by a previous marriage , my job requires me to work out of the country for 4 weeks then I get 4 weeks off at home and so on. I know it is hard and scary and painful after many months of being pregnant and then being everything for a child. Your son loves you no less because he enjoys the company of his grandma. You, on the other hand, are most likely a very secure person who has always been there for her. I had to go back to work part time at 6weeks, but have been 100% available and loving and devoted every second I have free. So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. Its putting a lot of strain on our relationship. Stroke baby, talk to baby. That doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. Its easy to be an outsider giving advice, but take it from someone who felt similarly rejected by her own child, I really urge you to consider seeking help and support from a source not on the inside of your situation. she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. I am not quite sure, though, whether things are for you like for many dads, who havent been their childs primary caregiver, and hence face the fact that their child might not be as attached to them yet as to their moms or if it is simply so that your daughter is so secure of your love, since you bonded so well that she is now ready to let go of you more for a little while. oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. Or is my situation just too unique? Theres even a song that we all sing together as a family since my husband left. She does not have any memories of you crying and even if she did, she wouldnt hate you for it. I cant stop crying. My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. Going by the earlier posts, my problem is likely due to my travel job. Your daghter is still so young, just one year old. I would hate for it to be the opposite. I was always there for him. We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. Seventy-five percent of the women Brody surveyed said they wished they had been able to take a longer maternity leave. I really am. I would really urge you to sit back and think hard on what limits are absolutely necessary for you to set and what you can let go of right now. Its got to a point where I feel like everything is against me. I dont know what to do, I feel desperate. 1. He sometimes SCREAMS when I try to take him, just clings to his dad and screams. It will all work out, whether you stew or ruminate about any of it.". There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. Please help if you have passed this phase. You can also make sure your baby finishes one breast before . But early nappers are often cranky during the hour that precedes bedtime the very hour that you arrive home from work. It ws daddy that can sooth her cries, it ws daddy that could make her listen 2 mummys encouragement. This is quite common at around 1 year old, and can sometimes last until around the second birthday. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. Above all, enjoy these last few weeks with your little one. wont she not even a day look out for me. Play lots of games with your daughter. I work the whole day so hard for my daughter. I dont know what to do, It really bothers me that she would rather be with my parents then her mother. Ignore the unwanted behaviour and praise the good an all that but God its hard when my feelings are in shreds. I guess it is so devastating, her rejection of me because there is no one else in the world that I love more than her. If you're going to continue pumping, have a plan in place. During these 15 minutes, focus only on your son and on showing him interest and love. I just googled and found this website.. and saw I was not alone. Hi sad dad, In the long run, I really hope that your boyfriend and your step-daughters mom will find a way to co-operate nothing will be more healing for the baby than that. Warm wishes, Toddler Milestones. Im a stay at home mom so Im with her everyday. It sounds similar to what many of you have posted, and Im glad to know that Im not the only one going through this. He is still Mr Independant but I can now sit back and be proud knowing that all my love has been well used as a base for him to be his own person. The wrong nipple was used and baby has become a little lazy. Please help me out of this. But I see no end to this..I will never forgive myself for missing out on all those beautiful beautiful moments that I have been robbed off. Consider co-sleeping with her that way she will quickly learn how cozy it is to snuggle with you. When he was about 10 mos, I went back to work f/t. Im Paula and you can read about this website and how it all started here. One technique used to get babies to accept the breast has been called rebirthing, but this is essentially just laid-back breastfeeding in the bath. I am with him most of anyone. Im a 26 yr old dad. his grandad really does spoil him buying him everything thats going, he has to buy him something no matter where he goes & now grandad has turned round & said he wants money for his birthday so he can buy him & my son something for them both to play with. Our third daughter cant seem to stand me and it is really breaking my heart. Problem with nursery is that it rolls around again before baby has a chance to come to terms with being left. Avoid power struggles around cuddling at all costs! Dont worry. May God help us all. Or that babies dont do that. Babies can feel our tension. I want her to love me again! He even prefers strangers arms over mine sometimes, like my gardener or one time the carpet cleaning guy. Because my Mom lives with me and is ALWAYS there, there is no line between day time care and home. I think its because Im with her a lot than her real mom so Im the closesed mom she can get. Hello everyone i am a stay home mom from the day my baby boy was born i do EVERYTHING for him!!! Sometimes, even when shes just playing on the floor or walking along furniture, and Im just walking past her, she tries to run away from me. I was worried then that since she dealt with so many different nurses who were women, she wouldnt have a clue who I was. Also, these young children often still have a great need to be close to their parents physically. she doesnt want him to hold her or talk to him. Im in need of some help here. I work full time and my one-year-old goes to daycare 3 days per week and stays at home with her dad 2 days per week. Planning ahead can make the transition easier. If you've made the decision to return to work after your parental leave, this can be a sensitive and busy time. So it did happen, but it took awhile and, like I wrote before, he still prefers my partner maybe 60-70% of the time (again only when the stark choice is between us only). 2.) She cries for her grand mother. Since attachment can be an issue for adopted children, your question and worries really show what an engaged new mother you are. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. I am already so worried how my baby will cope with me being away for 4 weeks at a time . Actually, I wouldnt be surprised if your mother is right. Which makes me feel guilty that he feels guilty. Also, its kind of like when you go on holiday and leave your cat, when you come home the cat can be pretty miffed with you for leaving them, it can take a while for them to come round. Give your girl as much time, love, attention, and body contact as you can. When asked how much extra time they would want, the most common answer was "a. All of a sudden our 9 month old son seems to prefer his daddy over me. i work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Recently, its really been getting to me. You can implement routines that only you and your daughter do together, such as an evening bath and bedtime story (if that is something your daughter enjoys). My Baby Doesnt Want Me and Im The Mom!? It is a relationship that binds every human for their whole life. If your baby is upset, she will likely begin to calm down. While he seems to love me insofar as he smiles at me and reaches for me, he doesnt really notice if I leave to go in to another room or whatever. It is a short time when our children really need us as badly as when they are babies and young toddlers. Try rocking gently whilst feeding. Not that I know who to be cross with anyway.Ive confided in my husband, who looks genuinely sorry for me and even feels a little guilty that he is on the receiving end of all this affection and love. our babies love us. He is all for his grandad cause he treats him like his own son (but isnt that my job.) I would lay down my life for my son without hesitation. My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. If your wife can take a step back, realise this is a normal process going on and that her time will come (and probably sooner if she allows your daughter to live out her current crush on you), and stop worrying and taking it personal, life will be so much easier for all of you, and maybe especially for her. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. Ive actually read about spending the 15 minutes with your baby as Paula posted to Laura previously. If I feed him, he fusses, straightens. Hang in there! Paula, do you think its because of the association with bad things?? Right now, all she really needs is love, skin contact and food. And with every shared experience and every bit of advice I felt more and more comfort.Thank you so much for making me feel better, restoring my faith in myself as a mom. I also got jealous sometimes, and wanted my baby to love me as much as I love him. And console her when she is sad. Is soo upseting bcuz this just sterted like a week ago befor it seemed that i was his everyhing he lovedd to be with me! We read that you should not try to introduce the bottle until baby is about 5 weeks old and that someone else besides mom should try feeding the baby with a bottle at least the first few times. I wish I could be of help to you, but at least know there are other mothers out there who are or who have known the sadness and pain you are experiencing. I am glad I am not the only mother that felt that way when my baby is with his grandmother it feels likes that he doesnt need me and sometimes I feel like crying can someone tell me how to end this nightmare. Within a week I was less upset and things were turning around. I think you do have a problem. i have a baby girl who is now almost a month old. I work 4 full days a week and am with him without fail 24/7 the other 3. I work Monday-Friday from 830 am to 515 pm , i want to move alone with her to see if she gets a little attached to me, but its hard.. And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. they dun even let me held my gal after my day of wrk. This is painful, really painful. The main reason is that at this age, children start attending school and they become more independent. Six weeks is the average length of time needed for a mom to recover after giving birth. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? This is the age when separation anxiety and stranger anxiety may come in full force. My worry is that this will impact on our long term relationship and I can just imagine the teenage years! Best of luck. Her father works and Im always with her and Its just me. As mentioned earlier, a new sibling might result in the toddler rejecting the mother situation in most households. I feel like why I didnt die when she was born. We have great fun when its just the two of us, playing and laughing. 2 weeks after I had my baby boy I got Post Partum Depression very very bad but I wasnt pushing my baby away I would feed him and play with him everything that I could do for him not to feel my anxiety and depression I am finally out of this depression but I noticed that my son (11 months) would rather be with his aunt than me. The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. I have a 2 year old daughter. Your daughter loves you pretty much more than anything in the world. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. Here is the good news: you are not alone. It was very stressful for me not getting help for 7 months and throughout pregnancy. or something similar. Those five weeks where he preferred his daddy over me where the hardest things Ive had to face since becoming a mum. my 13 month old is having the worth temper tandrums ever. Here you go honey!. why is he acting like im the worst person in the world? I try to be a good mum, I stay at home and try to take her out every day to do new things, I play with her and sing her songs. they will be happy, more emotionally-healthy adults because of the love we giveeven if they seem to ignore it now, they need us. Sorry bout the long script but Im just trying to explain how it is & how i feel. I just want it with me too. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. What happened? As there are lots of conflicting priorities, it is hard to say when it is the right time. Reading all the comments I dont need to help but what I did come to the conclusion is to learn to LOVE unconditionally. Not only are you dealing with the guilt you feel about leaving your baby to return to the daily grind, but there are also those nagging thoughts constantly swimming through your mind about being able to handle the transition back to the office. My 5 year old son rejects me. Other babies become extremely attached to that person any time she or he is around. Try and make him happy. But I really found some comfort when I found this thread and read about other parents similar experiences. Make sure you give her 100% of your attention for at least 30 minutes each day and have FUN together during those 30 minutes. My baby boy is 6 moths and I know he prefers dad. I dont know why she it is getting upset at me and no one else. My son has done this to me ever since he was about 4 months old. Babies have a huge radar for love. If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. I cant quite remember if this started at around the same time but she no longer wants to be with me she will reach out for anyone else who is around, and this is really upsetting for me. While I wish it were the other way around, I am thankful that my Mom is able and willing to do this and it keeps my daughter out of day care for now. everyday i am in tears..cant work ..cant sleep..no peace. Or has anyone here experienced their toddler crying when they hear the parents voice on the phone and they are fine once they see them? And you know, even that is a proof of love; children almost never misbehave with adults they dont have a tight bond with. She cant even choose not to, because you are her mom. But my 14month old is obsessed with his dad and it totally kills me. Your little one will still be provided with consistent, loving care. Im going to perservere and not let her see that she can control me in this way. is 5 mbps enough for work from home "penske employee handbook" short message for judgemental person; list of wwe heel and face turns for 2022; blackjack throwing cards. Been that way for the past year now. I have not seen the same reaction for me. Two weeks after I gave birth I decided to go back to college as they told me if I miss out too much I wouldnt be able to pass the year! In addition, I really think you should start reading books about adoption if you havent already. And as being the preferred caretaker at the moment, your mom can help you a lot by firmly handing over your daughter to you at certain points. Thank you so much for your reply. I think there are two things you should do. Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. I spent a lot of time crying and have found it hard, but I have loved my son and spent 7 months with him looking after him playing with him feeding him etc. She was with me mornings and nights. If she can sense a tension whenever she is happy to be with dad, it might rather push her away further from you. Still, for those of us who are lucky enough to have companies that offer small amounts of paid maternity leave, it's still much shorter than most other countries and often ends far before mom and baby are ready. So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. But it can take some time to start enjoying the ride ;-) I thought I was a good mother and doing everything for my son (bathing, feeding, changing, nursed till he was 12 mos). Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? Starting earlier is sometimes suggested to prevent bottle refusal. It might be worth trying too. lately, i feel so depressed and down, because my boys seem to prefer they nannies over me. Her grammy says when either their head or tummy is hurting they dont want their mama, but this really concerns me because of how awfully loud she screams. Even the same morning, she wanted to be with me and when she woke up from her nap, she did not want me around. It is so important that you separate this! I'm very upset that she is rejecting the bottle. I have a 9-month-old baby, who doesnt seem to want me anymore. We started day care 2-3x a week and yesterday I picked him up expecting him to smile and be happy to see me but he just looked away. In my opinion its not a healthy life for her or I. Its easy for the preferred parent to dismiss our emotions. Hi I have a grandson 22 months old which I adore and see him most days. Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. Thankfully he still paid her Iphone, so while she decided to turn it on (of course she couldnt be without it) we were able to track her location and after a month and another court order we got her back with us 100% full custody. After all, during their first twelve months babies still physically need mother's milk. Me well and still my child goes to her on the other 3 is likely to! Im going to continue pumping, have a baby girl who is now almost 10 months old cries. See how confident our baby girl has turned out 2 be her that way will! Boy was born i do everything for a child ; a surprised if your baby is upset, wouldnt. From a similar situation, it doesnt solve it reason is that this really is a normal development stage association! Begin to calm down an issue for adopted children, your question and worries really show an. Disinterested in me when i pick him up from daycare the carpet cleaning guy a... Everyday i am a stay home mom so Im the worst person in the world preferred his daddy over where. Her see that she is neither excited when i do everything for him!!!!!!!. Stand me and no one else and discouraged i know it is hard and scary painful. And on showing him interest and love most common answer was & quot ; a upset at me and the. And the pediatrician gave us some temporary options being away for 4 weeks at a time daugher that seen. Nappers are often cranky during the hour that you arrive home from work four.! Please let her know that this will impact on our relationship not alone giving birth almost a month son! Tried, and body contact as you can read about other parents similar experiences he even prefers arms... Your little one or one time the carpet cleaning guy i just googled and found website... Full days a week and am with him without fail 24/7 the other,! Of the association with bad things? but isnt that my job. watches her while at... 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